It’s raining. It has rained all day, and I am more at peace today than I have been in weeks. My work schedule is limited this summer, so in theory I’ve had time on my hands, except that I haven’t. While I’m not at work, I’ve been cramming the days full with everything that I can because I know that summer is ending soon and next school year will begin. My kids won’t be my own anymore.
Don’t get me wrong. In some ways, I cannot wait to put them on the bus.
This is the soundtrack of my summer: No. Don’t. Stop it. Keep your hands to yourself. Cut it out. No screaming.
It’s on continuous loop.
But all that aside? I enjoy their company. And the school year is just so hard. Getting home to put dinner on the table and sit the three of them down for homework is exhausting. Soul crushing, really. Trying to manage the bickering and cries of “I’m bored!” feels tame compared to the arguing and crying that occurs at homework time.
For now, there are still a few weeks left of summer. Each day the sun shines, I feel compelled to wring all I can out of it, to soak up this time with my children before they outgrow me. I imagined it relaxed and carefree. It isn’t. It’s frantic at best. But not today.
Today there is no sun. Just the quiet of the rain, and my family, relaxed and happy in pajamas at 4pm.