Not in New York

I sit down for lunch today at my daughter’s placemat. It looks like this:

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I declare aloud with unnecessary dramatics,”I am the Royal Princess!”
Buddy: You are not. You’re momma.
Me: Yeah, but I can be a princess, too. It says so on the placemat.
Buddy: I know, but you can only be a princess in fairy tales.
Me: Can’t we pretend this is a fairy tale?
Buddy: Noooo, momma. *exasperated* This is New York!

I knew New York was fundamentally flawed. And now it’s been confirmed.