What would you say?

I was going through drafts of many blog posts that have never seen the light of day when I came across this one from nearly a year ago and decided that it’s reasonable to post it anyway… Enjoy.
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There are phrases I have used since becoming a parent that I never thought I’d hear myself say. Phrases that, out of context of the original situation, make little sense except to other parents.

The first time I became aware of this phenomenon was during potty training of my twins. Toddlers are extremely possessive of their excrement.

“We do not flush other people’s poo. If you want to flush the toilet, you have to make your own.”

Now that they are a little bit older, when I find myself speechless or stammering, Buddy or Goose will often fill in with gems of their own. For example, Bear (almost 2yo) is obsessed with his toothbrush… and penises. I cannot think of any normal circumstance in which those two things should be combined. But in this house, anything can happen.

During a recent round of potty, wash, brush and bed X3, I caught sight of Bear with his toothbrush extended over the toilet bowl where Buddy was still in the “potty” phase of our routine (Stand up style. Sorry, is that TMI?). But before I could say, “We do not rinse our toothbrushes in urine… ever!” Buddy reprimanded him with a stern, “Toothpaste does not come out of my butt, Bear!”

Ah… well said, my friend.

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