I was in Target a couple of weeks ago with my kid posse, when Buddy asked what we were there to buy.
Before I could get the words, “diapers, wipes, snow boots and Exedrin” out of my mouth, I spotted this red dress out of the corner of my eye.
“Well, Buddy, maybe we’re here to buy mama a new dress.”
And so I bought it. A red dress with a black lace overlay, that is completely not me and that has absolutely no utility, because where on earth am I going to go in this ridiculous red dress? The office holiday parties. Mine and my husband’s. That’s where I’ll wear it. And I don’t give a hoot if it’s inappropriate.
I started trolling zappos.com for red shoes because I don’t own any and I have such crazy wide hobbit feet that I can’t just pick up shoes for at a random department store.
And I found them. Not just any red shoes, mind you. But red shoes with 3.5″ heels. Okay, some of you just snickered. Anything over 1.5″ is high for me. I’m not even sure if I can walk in them, but I’ll wear them, even if my hubby has to carry me into and out of the parties (the first of which, his, is tomorrow night).
So I started thinking… I’ve got the dress, I’ve got the shoes… hmmmmm….. How can I kick it up a notch?
I know! I know! I know!
Wouldn’t it be cool if, in addition to the red dress and insane heels, I got some eyelash extensions, too?
And so I did. I grabbed a friend and headed over to Ginger Lashes where a friend of mine has set up shop specializing in this new fangled take on false eyelashes. It took a while to get them applied. For reals. She glues individual falsies to your real lashes. But holy carp. These suckers nearly hit my eyebrows they are so long. And all this time I thought celebs just had better mascara than I do. I’m on to you, people!
Tomorrow night, I’ll be rockin’ my sassy dress, crazy shoes, and glam lashes, instead of the yoga pants, sneakers and pony tail that have become my mommy uniform. I may fall off my heels, and sprain an ankle, but hey, the bigger the embarrassment the better the blog fodder.